So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize