i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
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my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize