Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Randomize
