it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he puts the penis in happiness.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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