I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
