If that was your dad, he is hot
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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