I smell stomach acid.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
