she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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