Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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