The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
