Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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