Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
