Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
