Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
