Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
