Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
