There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
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Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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