i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
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there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
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I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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