Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
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My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
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Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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