Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
