please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
