I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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