Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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