Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You made out with two different species that night
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
