weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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