yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
