u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
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I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
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I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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