Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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