Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
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I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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