the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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