how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
