last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
