eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
