Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize