Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
birth control should be required to get into college
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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