are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize