if i can run in heels then i can drive
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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