if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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