I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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