he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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