If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
