You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
