perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
