am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
