Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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