you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
