Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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