How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
