somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
