You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
