Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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