Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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