hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
