ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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