Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
