just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
