You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
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The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
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So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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