fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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