Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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