just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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