u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
