i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
